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Relaxing Spiderman:  EVERYONE ELSE IS AT HOME RELAXING AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE WORKING

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Relaxing Spiderman:  75% OF JAPANESE CITIZENS HAVE A HI-TECH TOILET IN THEIR HOUSE I'M JUST SHETTING HERE WITH A COLD ASS AND POOR CIRCULATION IN MY LOWER EXTREMITIES

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Relaxing Spiderman:  EVERYONE IN CANADA IS EXCITED FOR 'WARMER' WEATHER AND I'M JUST IN TEXAS COMPLAINING ABOUT 40 DEGREE WEATHER

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Relaxing Spiderman:  THE WEATHER CHANNEL IS ALL LIKE 'OMG WINTER STORM NEPTUNE!' AND WESTERN NEW YORK IS JUST SHOVELING HERE LIKE 'YEP, THAT'S SNOW'

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Relaxing Spiderman:  EVERYONE IS HAVING IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS ABOUT THE PATS AND SEAHAWKS AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE NOT TRYING TO LOOK LIKE AN IGNORANT EYEBALL.

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Relaxing Spiderman:  I JUST LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND NOW I'M SITTING HERE EATING PUDDING CUPS AND BEER

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Relaxing Spiderman:  EVERYBODY IN THE NORTHEASTERN PART OF THE UNITED STATES ARE DEALING WITH A BLIZZARD AND I'M JUST SITTING HERE IN SOUTH DAKOTA ENJOYING 40 DEGREE TEMPERATURES AND SUNSHINE